“So it's been kind of a long road, but it was a good journey altogether” - Sidney Poitier

My dad's side of the family has longevity on their side. Perhaps it was gifted to them for surviving the grimness and poverty of southeastern Kentucky. When my grandmother died at 98, I thought my dad was joking when he called to tell me. Like I said, we live forever.

I think about this a lot as I approach what is likely to be middle age for me. If I follow the path of that side of the family, I have more than half of my life left. I'm not so sure these days this is a blessing.

I went home to Kentucky for New Year, not to visit family but to see friends. It's been a while since I'd been back, almost two years. It was interesting how familiar and also how foreign it seemed to me. At this point in life, I've lived elsewhere longer than I did in Kentucky. Yet, I still call it home, the place of my tribe.

My friend Karin and I had a late-night conversation about finding your tribe. It has no geographical boundaries, it's where your heart lies. One of the things I cherished from this trip was meeting the children of my tribe. Some I've never met or haven't seen since they were infants. Yet, I've watched from afar as they grew and changed and loved and found their own tribe. All of the joys, the ups, and downs, the heartbreaks, I've been there with them. It was good to finally meet them.

I guess it's inevitable with the coming of a new year to reflect on the past. After almost ten years in the art world, I started a new job, the beginning of a new era, one might say. It got me thinking about how I always saw the chapters of my life as stories, punctuated by a beginning and an end, a novel sitting between bookends on a shelf. That was my hippie phase, my bartender years, the time right after the breakup, each defined by a series of particular events, part of the narrative of my life. I'm just not sure what the next chapter brings.

There's a song, "Nantes" by Beirut, Dermot introduced me to it, and more than any other, it ties me to him. I imagine him watching me navigate the ups and downs, the joys and heartbreaks in the same way I watch the children of my tribe.

Well it's been a long time, long time now

Since I've seen you smile

And I'll gamble away my fright

And I'll gamble away my time

And in a year, a year or so

This will slip into the sea

Well it's been a long time, long time now

Since I've seen you smile

Maybe this year will be the year to see me smile again, the year the past will slip into the sea.